MEssy People, MEssy Problems

I haven't blogged much since my last rant - on purpose. I'm still frustrated and angry with various people and situations - MEssy people and MEssy problems. And even though I'm not responsible for what's happening, lately, you'll find ME in the midst of a MEss. I don't like that part of my job.

Sure, I'm aware of the fact that I can't clean up other people's messes (and when I do I'm probably not helping as much as I think) but sometimes, praying, hoping and waiting for God to do what only He can do is not as easy as it sounds. It's a sick person who enjoys watching others suffer, make mistakes and regularly choose the wrong path. It's even worse when you care about people.

I've determined that I'm staying in the MEss that others have made because I care. I'm called to be both a prophet and a priest to those who've created these MEssy situations. A prophet who points out what's wrong and refuses to ignore it and a priest who cares for and intercedes on their behalf. I'm hanging out on the front row of God's workshop, but right now, from my limited perspective, I just see the MEss and not what this MEss is going to become.

And I'm OK with that. It's not about ME anyhow.

What The Heck Are They Thinking?

Someone please help me understand. More and more I'm seeing people (and now whole "religious" organizations and denominations) invent ways to keep from calling people engaged in certain behaviors "sinners" and telling them that their behavior is wrong. The latest perfect example is the ELCA's vote on gay clergy. Read more HERE

In the past that would have been considered an oxymoron: gay + clergy = incompatible. But apparently we would rather have people feel good about themselves in their sin, than feel good about themselves because they've struggled with and avoided sinful behavior.

But it's not just homosexuality.

We often do the same with divorce, pre-marital and extra-marital sex and even gossip. I know few people that would argue that God's ideal is for any of those kinds of behavior. (I'm sure they're out there, but I don't know many) Yet when these kinds of sinful behaviors happen, we not only ignore it, now people are starting to embrace it!

Wake up people! There is no right way to incorporate a wrong thing. If homosexual behavior is wrong - don't try to figure out a way to make it right because some people struggle with it. If pornography, pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, gossip, lying or even gluttony is wrong - don't try to make that kind of behavior acceptable and moral just because a bunch of people struggle with it (or flat out embrace it). There's nothing wrong with the struggle. We're all sinful people so we should expect to struggle (and fight against whatever temptations we encounter).

When people choose sin, I'm saddened. When people celebrate their sin, I get pissed. Not at them, but at the attitude that says, "God wants me to be happy and this is how I plan on doing it." If that's you, what the heck are you thinking?

Serving Others

I just got back from helping with the ECU move-in (along with about 20+ other Discovery Church people) and I just wanted to brag and thank them. In addition, REimage church was there with probably 30+, as was the Campus Christian Fellowship group and our relief came from Integrity Church. I'm sure there were other churches there, but today I have to say, I was proud to be part of the Body of Christ. We worked and we worked together to serve students and parents.

And isn't that part of what the church should be doing? Shouldn't we be out serving others? Helping them when they need it and taking opportunities (if/when they present themselves) to begin building relationships and pointing people to Christ (and to a Christ centered church). Jesus didn't come to be served, but to serve. For those that came out today to sweat and work and serve others....thanks for being the hands and feet of Jesus on a campus where plenty of people need to see Him.

And for all those who didn't make it out, I hope you served someone today too. Maybe it wasn't by hauling 100 pound pieces of luggage, but if you found a way to meet a need - you're on the right track. Serving is an individual responsibility, but often a joint effort. Discovery can do more for this community when we work together so one more time....Thanks for helping out today.

Clarity

Ever tried to use a steamed up mirror in the bathroom or see out your car window when the defrost doesn't work well or just see 10 feet ahead of you in thick fog? You can see, but not clearly. Something is blurring your vision and keeping you from seeing clearly. When it comes to leading anything from a family to a church, clarity is something we should be willing to pay a high price for.

We allow so many things to cloud our vision - details, people, circumstances. But I'm becoming more and more convinced that we can work through the blurry clouds, mist and distractions IF we know where we're going. As a husband, I want my wife to know she's loved, be protected and provided for and be served and honored by me. As a father, I desire that my children will know and live a life where they follow Jesus Christ's lead. As a pastor, I want to see Discovery create environments where people can genuinely connect with Christ and serve others.

Knowing where you're going, what you're trying to accomplish and why - that by itself creates clarity, energy, motion and momentum. That way, when people, details or circumstances inevitably interfere and distract - I'm ready to focus on the important priorities with clarity and not get bogged down in the questions, critiques and criticisms. Of course, that doesn't mean you ignore them, but you'll never be able to satisfy everyone and there will always be opposition. Get used to it. Be proactive, not reactive. Know what you're trying to accomplish and why.

So I'm wondering - why do you do what you do (at work, at home, in life)? What are you trying to accomplish?

Focus

Been thinking a lot lately about what the heck is going on. I've been tense, frustrated, disappointed sometimes and very easily distracted when it comes to almost all things Discovery. I'm convinced things shouldn't be this way and have struggled to make sense of it. Then this morning at my accountability breakfast, it came up and started to make a little more sense. I hate to admit it, but I think I've lost focus.

When I first moved here about 4 years ago, I moved with the desire and newly formed plan to reach out, connect and focus on the thousands of people in and around Greenville who were not connected to Jesus Christ. I think we did pretty well at that for the first couple years, but as we've grown we've gotten "used" to some things and I've owned too many things. I haven't reproduced myself, haven't really forced others to reproduce themselves and we're feeling the consequences. There's a lack of new leaders and lots of people on the sidelines - not because they don't want to serve and work, but because they 1) don't know where and 2) don't know why everything they might do matters.

Why do we spend hours setting up for a 80 min. service? Why do we do Second Saturday Service? Why do we encourage people to get involved in small groups? Why do we print T-shirts to go with each series? Why do we have "greeters" and serve breakfast? Why do we do our children's ministry the way we do? Why do our small groups talk about the same things we talk about on Sunday? All good questions, and even though I have an answer for each one, I haven't done a good job at helping people see the big picture and understand how they can contribute to not just Discovery, but the Kingdom.

We have Good News to share, plenty of people who could use some good news, a limited opportunity to do it and a mandate to be active. Jesus didn't die so we can have church. He died so people could be in right relationship with God Himself. Let's focus on how we can play a part in helping people trust in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ and live in right relationship with God and others.

Tithing and Giving

We started new series at Discovery yesterday and we'll be talking about stewardship and specifically finances over the next few weeks. It's funny how many people and pastors seem to shy away from talking about money. Stewardship is part of discipleship and so we can't ignore it. I made what I thought was a pretty strong statement - I said something like "I don't need your money, Discovery doesn't "need" your money - it's not your money anyhow, it's all God's money. I'd rather you attend another church and faithfully tithe and give your money there than to stay here and not tithe" If you want, you can watch the whole thing HERE or download or listen to the podcast at www.discoverync.com

We'll be looking at what a tithe is and whether or not it's for today in more detail during the series, but let me start by repeating what Randy Alcorn (author of Money, Possessions and Eternity) said, which is basically, that being under grace does not mean living by lower standards than the law (even though we are no longer under the law). Tithing is a biblical starting point, it's entry level obedience, the minimum - it coexisted with voluntary giving in the OT and there is no reason to cancel/ignore or other wise dismiss it’s practice today.

Arguing against tithing would be like arguing against seatbelts - if the law that requires the use of seatbelts were repealed (or didn't exist like prior to the 1970's or currently in New Hamshire), it wouldn't mean that the use of seatbelts was now suddenly unwise or even unnecessary. In fact quite the opposite. Regardless of the existence of some particular law, seatbelts would still be wise and beneficial. The same holds true for the tithe, and most people who argue against the tithe as a biblical starting point for giving - are the same people who don't even give close to a tithe. But then it's not an argument, it's an excuse for selfishness, greed or control (and a poor one at that).

So let's get over the idea that the tithe is legalistic. Anything can become legalistic but that doesn't mean it's a bad idea. For some people, Bible reading, prayer, studying, church and fellowship times are all legalistic to them. Nobody is suggesting we stop practicing those disciplines.

As we "Consider the Cost" let's at least be in agreement that stewardship is part of discipleship and if you desire to be a disciple - we'll need to handle the money God puts us in charge of, with great care and wisdom.

The Other Woman

The first woman I ever loved was of course my mother. In fact I still love her even today - she's my mom, and she did an amazing job with me and my brother. But there's another woman in my life. It's my wife. Today is our 16th anniversary and I want the world to know why I am in love with this other woman.

• She gave up a fast-tracked military career as an officer to stay home and raise our children
• She didn't really know how to cook when I married her but has learned and excelled at not just "making food" but serving meals
• While she hasn't always agreed with me, she has never wavered in her love and support of me as a husband, father and pastor
• She practices hospitality
• She has had five children and considers it important to be healthy and in shape - so even after 5 kids, she is still as attractive as the day I married her (can I get an AMEN?!)
• Her patience is rarely exhausted as demonstrated by my "piles" that she "allows" me to keep around the house - even though it takes everything in her not to clean it up or throw it in the trash
• She is considerate of others - a people-pleaser of sorts, but she's learned to say no to protect her time and family
• She loves Jesus and it shows in her conversations and actions
• She our children, despite her feelings of inadequacy, and all of our children excel beyond their grade levels
• She is organized and has shared some of her planning skills with me - thus making me a better person
• She can look at me, smile, then laugh and I melt
• She is low-maintenance. She doesn't like to shop, doesn't take hours (really just a few minutes) to get ready in the morning
• She isn't "frumpy" - she still dresses nicely even if she's only going to be home
• She's disciplined. She has a "secret stash" of chocolate, but limits herself to just a little at a time.
• She is an example to other women, mothers, and other wives in so many areas
• She's a mighty nice kisser
• She's modest in how she dresses without being prudish, out of style or otherwise boring
• She honors me by her words both to me and to others
• She's frugal and wise with our money (did I mention she doesn't like to shop?!)
• She enjoys the simple things (and that includes me)
• While she appreciates good food and good atmosphere, she'd rather spend the money on others (like our kids) or save it
• She is an amazing mother who takes time to know each of her children as individuals and blesses them in ways that let them know she cares
• She's thoughtful - always ready with a kind word, a thoughtful gift, or hug
• She's honest...people (including me) may not always like what she says, but she says it so gently and sincerely you can't help but listen and consider what she's said
• She's a great nurse who loves her job and the people and babies she cares for
• She still needs me for some things - like directions, house and car maintenance and math
• She honors my parents. Even though she's the other woman in my life, she honors my mom - sometimes, she talks to to her more than I do.
• She is faithful. Faithful first to Jesus and because of that, she's been faithful and committed to me.

So Lora, I want to wish you a Happy Anniversary and say thanks for making each of the past 16 years something I look back at with fondness and joy. I am confident that the years that are yet to come will be filled with both happiness and heartache, joy and sorrow, smiles and tears - and I can say without hesitation that I am looking forward to experiencing every one of those moments with you. Today, I honor you, I praise you, I delight in you, and I love you. See you soon My Lovely Bride.