Men and Marriage

It's no secret that in general, men are lazy, apathetic and not at all the spiritual leaders of their homes or lovers of their wives in the way they've been charged by God himself to be.  More often then I'd like to admit, I fall into that category.  Since I just got slapped in the face with this, I figured I'd share it with you as well.  It's not short, it's not fluffy-feel-good stuff, but it's needed.  Carve out an hour to invest in this, but only if you think you can handle it.

God, Satan and Belief

Watched a recording of Nightline's Faceoff where the two sides were attempting to answer the question "Does Satan Exist?"  The panelists were Pastor Mark Driscoll and Annie Lobert (who say, Yes, Satan exists) and Deepak Chopra and Bishop Carlton Pearson (who say No, Satan does not exist).

I thought it was an amazing discussion and thought Mark Driscoll did an amazing job presenting the Gospel with clarity and conviction.  Why don't you go check it out for yourself and let me know what you think.

You can watch it HERE

Customer Service

Over the past month, I've experienced good and bad customer service.  If you follow my twitter feed at all, you know that my heat went out and it took 3+ weeks to get it fixed (long story).  I couldn't get people to call me back or otherwise communicate with me.  I didn't know what was going on, but I did know that something was broken.  After that, the program I use to keep my contacts and calendar synchronized on my computer and Blackberry decided it didn't want to work.  After following tech support's suggestion, I wiped my Blackberry to reinstall and now I have NO calendar dates instead of just unsynchronized ones.  It's going on 3 weeks with this problem too and still no solution and no contact unless I initiate it.

Then there's today.  Today I had a good experience.  Had a small problem I couldn't solve, emailed the company, and within hours, had not just contact, but resolution.  How hard was that?

All this got me thinking.  I wonder how many people show up at our churches or in our ministries and feel like they don't matter, aren't recognized and like we don't care?  Are we waiting for them to contact us first, to ask for help, to call the church to rescue them before we respond?  Or, are we taking steps to be proactive, to identify issues and try to address them as soon as we become aware of them?

I'd like to think Discovery is better at serving the people in this community than most of the companies that I've dealt with lately.  I think when people are guests at Discovery, we make a big deal out of it, we honor them, identify them, communicate with them and do whatever we can to serve them.  I feel like we're serving the community by offering them a "no-strings attached" event with Greenville's Largest Easter Egg Hunt.  I'm excited that we're going to be hosting another event a few weeks later to help people find hope in the midst of this financial meltdown when we host Dave Ramsey's live 'Town Hall For Hope' event on Thursday, April 23rd at 8PM.

for some reason the "Find out More" link doesn't work.  Click HERE instead

Just remember people, we're here to serve (both Christ and others)

Communication and Misunderstanding

It's been a week since my last post and there's been plenty of discussion, questions and dialogue both on and offline.  What I find interesting is that what I was trying to communicate was misunderstood by some, mischaracterized by others and agreed with by still others.  So what gives?  Well, communication can be a tricky thing sometimes.

I remember learning this lesson early, that it's not just what is said (or typed or written) that matters or counts in understanding someone.  We need context, sometimes we need to ask for clarification.  But what it always comes down to is being able to answer whether or not we understand the author's intent.  Have we grasped what the author is trying to communicate?

When I was in seminary, I was taught that while there can often be many applications for any particular passage of Scripture, there is only one correct interpretation - and that is what the author meant to communicate.  That's why Bible studies that only ask, "what do you think?" kind of questions but don't dig in and ask "what is he trying to say?" are dangerous.  What we think isn't the final authority - what the author was trying to communicate is.

It's the same thing with any conversation.  We've all experienced times where we heard what someone said, but because of their voice, face, circumstances or whatever we also understood exactly what they meant, and that's what's most important.  For instance, I ask people all the time how they're doing and most people say something like "I'm fine."  But I also pay attention and sometimes notice that what they said doesn't match what they mean - they say "fine" but what they mean is "I'm not really sure you care how I'm doing so I'll just say 'I'm fine'".  Watching their face, paying attention to the context and asking for clarification yields the real meaning behind their words.

Blogs, emails, texts and other impersonal forms of communication are notorious for causing misunderstandings.  Why?  Because they lack other elements that help clarify.  The more information we have, the easier it is to understand what someone is trying to communicate.  The less we have, the more likely we are to misunderstand, mischaracterize and mishandle the information and words we do have.

So when you hear or read something you think you don't like or don't agree with, make sure you understand what that person was trying to say.  You can decide for them, but you might have reached the wrong conclusion because remember, it's not about "what do you think?"  Before you can ever go there, you have to be clear on "what is he trying to say?"  It's what makes the job of being a pastor and communicating for a living, difficult.  And it's where people run into a lot of problems with what the Bible has to say about various things - when they don't understand, they jump right to the question "what do I think?" without pausing long enough to make sure they can correctly answer the question "what is he trying to say?"  Don't make that same mistake.  Take all information into consideration and clarify if necessary.

"Spiritual Gifts" I Don't Want

There are always going to be "those kind of people" and I know that.  I think I've also identified a few of the "gifts" that make them so especially annoying and tough to tolerate and I've concluded that I don't want their "spiritual gifts" that they seem so intent on exercising in the church and for the supposed glory of God.  People who have these "gifts" are constantly exercising them and putting them to "good use."  In fact, they often don't recognize that they have these "gifts" and using them is natural and like second-nature.  I hope you don't have any of these gifts, but if you do, I hope you stay far, far away from Discovery Church and also keep them hidden and unused at any church.

The "Spiritual Gift" of 'Well I think..."

A person with this gift loves to share their thoughts, opinions and ideas with everyone.  They always have a better way of doing things and can tell you story after story of how something isn't being done right.  Of course they also have an acute understanding of why all these problem exists in the church, and of course, how they would fix it - and most sentences start with, "Well I think...."  Thoughts are often devoid of any biblical wisdom but loaded with plenty of personal pride.

The "Spiritual Gift" of Criticism

These people can not sit through a service, attend any function or serve well in any ministry because they always see the glass as half empty.  They look for every little thing that's wrong instead of celebrating the things that are right.  They are constant initiators of disagreements and dissatisfaction because they often work behind the scenes pointing out all that's wrong without ever lifting a finger to fix it.  They can do this up close, but they often choose to work from a distance, jump to conclusions and use limited knowledge.  Their criticism is often communicated either anonymously or through emails, letter, blogs, wall posts or other impersonal means.

The "Spiritual Gift" of Opposition

These people have a deeply felt belief that they need to be against anything and everything that doesn't fit their understanding of the Bible, God and the teachings of Christ.  They are right, all others are wrong.  If they think a certain translation of the Bible is right - all others must be wrong and so they oppose them.  If they think a particular denomination or style of worship is right, all others are wrong and they oppose them.  The same goes for theological issues - whatever conclusion they've reached is right and all others are wrong, so they oppose them.  They aren't passive opposers, but active attackers who feel that exercising this spiritual gift is a God-given responsibility regardless of how they approach it.

The "Spiritual Gift" of Justifying

Those with this gift find any and every reason to explain away their thoughts, conclusions and behaviors without ever considering that maybe,just maybe, they should change them.  If they're rude and disrespectful, it's ok, because they're just trying to share the truth and people don't like the truth.  If they sin, there's always a good reason that makes it alright in that particular situation. They can never actually be accused of doing wrong because they know they're always right.

The "Spiritual Gift" of Discouragement

This is perhaps the most popular and prevalent of the gifts I don't want.  People with this gift are always ready to give an answer to the hope that you have and it's usually in the form of why they couldn't or wouldn't and why you shouldn't do something.  Want to reach out to the community in a creative way?  Someone with this gift would say you shouldn't, maybe because it's not Biblical or it will cost too much or even just that they don't like it; anything to discourage you.  They have the uncanny ability to manufacture reasons why things cannot be done, as well as supporting thoughts about all that would go wrong if you did do it.  They find joy in others failures because it often provides the opportunity for them to say, "I told you so" while giving them a reference point for the next time they want to discourage you.

How frustrating and disappointing it is that people with these kinds of gifts are the ones that get the most attention in the church.  They give us a bad name and give Christ a black-eye.  And I'm sure there are others I missed.  What are some of the "spiritual gifts" that you don't want?

Frustrations

Frustrations aren't really anything new.  Everybody has something that frustrates them.  It might be their spouse or kids, their boss, some government issue, their church, school, car, hair or pet.  Honestly, it could be anything.  I've been frustrated lately with a few things, the least of which is repairs.

• Two weeks ago, the heat/air in my house went out - still not fixed
  
• When my watch had the crystal broken, I sent it off to be repaired - got a notice telling me it would cost $222 to replace the crystal and clean dust off the face.  Nice try Citizen.
  
• I've been driving around on the spare to my truck because basically I'm too cheap (and don't really NEED) to buy new tires yet.
  
• My Blackberry has started acting very slow - like something's wrong with it
  
• The synchronization software I use to sync the Blackberry with my Mac was giving me problems but came out with an update - that has now made the problems worse
  
• Think I may have noticed a leak in my roof now - hope that's not it but based on the rest of this list it's par for the course
  
• We have two remotes - one for the TV, one for the DVD/stereo.  Both are now missing the battery covers
  
• Spent hours working to get the new homeschool laptop getting Rosetta Stone's Spanish to work on it (made me loath Vista) - all because one of the kids broke the other one
  
• Warranty Company that's supposed to be making sure my heating/air gets fixed (so far they suck at it) authorized it for us to buy a space heater that they'd reimburse us for - only problem is nobody is selling them now
  
• Vacuum cleaner broke and need a $50 part to fix it
  

I could go on, but you get the idea.  So to say I'm a little frustrated is the tip of the proverbial iceberg.

I've been asking myself "what am I supposed to be learning here?" and I keep coming back to 'contentment'. 

I am not saying this because I am in need, for I have learned to be content whatever the circumstances.  I know what it is to be in need, and I know what it is to have plenty.  I have learned the secret of being content in any and every situation, whether well fed or hungry, whether living in plenty or in want.  I can do everything through him who gives me strength

Philippians 4:11-13

So I guess, despite my frustrations - I'll be content - OK with how things are because they could certainly be worse.  So thanks God, I think I've learned the lesson.  Can we start a new one tomorrow please?

Evangelicalism Needs a Funeral?

Read this article and think that a lot of the conclusions are right on.  Are we part of the problem?  Is there a solution?  What do you think?

Read the article

Please read the article, but come back here and leave a comment about your reaction and thoughts.