Personal Responsibility

This has happened before and will certainly happen again I'm sure, but it really frustrates me. There is a prevailing expectation that the church and its pastors and people are supposed to simply "notice" when someone is disconnecting and withdrawing, and to a degree, that's absolutely true. But I don't believe it's a healthy or realistic expectation that the church its pastors and people get it right for everyone every time.

I'll be the first to admit that we haven't got everything up to the level that it needs to be when it comes to tracking people's participation and growth. While ideally, we'd like to make a phone call to every person who's been out/absent for two weeks straight and add a letter to the level of care if they're out for three weeks straight, we haven't consistently reached that level yet. That means that as a church, we're imperfect, we mess up, and occasionally people are going to be missed and feel left out like nobody noticed or cared. That needs to change and we're trying.

On the other hand though is the role of the person who's missing. When I go to a restaurant, they give me a menu, they don't order for me. Why? Because they can't read my mind. They don't know if I'm diabetic, want fried food, healthy food, a lot or a little. They leave that up to me and then I expect whatever I ordered to live up to my expectations.

Yet people walk into churches all the time, are given a menu of options to choose from. They stare at it without ever really ordering anything or getting involved (in ministry, classes, small groups, etc), and then wonder why they're not satisfied and fulfilled. Could it be because they're expecting us to deliver a meal that they never ordered?

People want to feel connected. So we provide the opportunities, but if they don't take advantage of them, where did the ball get dropped? People want something for their kids. We provide the best we can right now. If they don't like it should they a) leave; b) complain; or c) work to improve it? I'd like for "C" to be the first option, not "A" or "B"

All I can say is that the church, its pastors and people, should do the best they can and work to really know the needs of the people they're trying to serve. In addition, the people being served need to understand that there is an element of personal responsibility so stop blaming the church, its pastors and people for your lack of effort, initiative or willingness to put forth the time and effort necessary to improve things for everyone (not just you).