Closed for Renovations

In case you hadn't noticed, my blog has been inactive and it will remained closed through the end of the year while I work to either redesign it or struggle with the decision to close it for good.

Perhaps we'll see you in January!?

Fame Hurts

Sometimes I think I'd like to be famous....then I see something like this and realize I'm better off being anonymous. Can't help but laugh.

MEssy People, MEssy Problems

I haven't blogged much since my last rant - on purpose. I'm still frustrated and angry with various people and situations - MEssy people and MEssy problems. And even though I'm not responsible for what's happening, lately, you'll find ME in the midst of a MEss. I don't like that part of my job.

Sure, I'm aware of the fact that I can't clean up other people's messes (and when I do I'm probably not helping as much as I think) but sometimes, praying, hoping and waiting for God to do what only He can do is not as easy as it sounds. It's a sick person who enjoys watching others suffer, make mistakes and regularly choose the wrong path. It's even worse when you care about people.

I've determined that I'm staying in the MEss that others have made because I care. I'm called to be both a prophet and a priest to those who've created these MEssy situations. A prophet who points out what's wrong and refuses to ignore it and a priest who cares for and intercedes on their behalf. I'm hanging out on the front row of God's workshop, but right now, from my limited perspective, I just see the MEss and not what this MEss is going to become.

And I'm OK with that. It's not about ME anyhow.

What The Heck Are They Thinking?

Someone please help me understand. More and more I'm seeing people (and now whole "religious" organizations and denominations) invent ways to keep from calling people engaged in certain behaviors "sinners" and telling them that their behavior is wrong. The latest perfect example is the ELCA's vote on gay clergy. Read more HERE

In the past that would have been considered an oxymoron: gay + clergy = incompatible. But apparently we would rather have people feel good about themselves in their sin, than feel good about themselves because they've struggled with and avoided sinful behavior.

But it's not just homosexuality.

We often do the same with divorce, pre-marital and extra-marital sex and even gossip. I know few people that would argue that God's ideal is for any of those kinds of behavior. (I'm sure they're out there, but I don't know many) Yet when these kinds of sinful behaviors happen, we not only ignore it, now people are starting to embrace it!

Wake up people! There is no right way to incorporate a wrong thing. If homosexual behavior is wrong - don't try to figure out a way to make it right because some people struggle with it. If pornography, pre-marital sex, extra-marital sex, gossip, lying or even gluttony is wrong - don't try to make that kind of behavior acceptable and moral just because a bunch of people struggle with it (or flat out embrace it). There's nothing wrong with the struggle. We're all sinful people so we should expect to struggle (and fight against whatever temptations we encounter).

When people choose sin, I'm saddened. When people celebrate their sin, I get pissed. Not at them, but at the attitude that says, "God wants me to be happy and this is how I plan on doing it." If that's you, what the heck are you thinking?

Serving Others

I just got back from helping with the ECU move-in (along with about 20+ other Discovery Church people) and I just wanted to brag and thank them. In addition, REimage church was there with probably 30+, as was the Campus Christian Fellowship group and our relief came from Integrity Church. I'm sure there were other churches there, but today I have to say, I was proud to be part of the Body of Christ. We worked and we worked together to serve students and parents.

And isn't that part of what the church should be doing? Shouldn't we be out serving others? Helping them when they need it and taking opportunities (if/when they present themselves) to begin building relationships and pointing people to Christ (and to a Christ centered church). Jesus didn't come to be served, but to serve. For those that came out today to sweat and work and serve others....thanks for being the hands and feet of Jesus on a campus where plenty of people need to see Him.

And for all those who didn't make it out, I hope you served someone today too. Maybe it wasn't by hauling 100 pound pieces of luggage, but if you found a way to meet a need - you're on the right track. Serving is an individual responsibility, but often a joint effort. Discovery can do more for this community when we work together so one more time....Thanks for helping out today.

Clarity

Ever tried to use a steamed up mirror in the bathroom or see out your car window when the defrost doesn't work well or just see 10 feet ahead of you in thick fog? You can see, but not clearly. Something is blurring your vision and keeping you from seeing clearly. When it comes to leading anything from a family to a church, clarity is something we should be willing to pay a high price for.

We allow so many things to cloud our vision - details, people, circumstances. But I'm becoming more and more convinced that we can work through the blurry clouds, mist and distractions IF we know where we're going. As a husband, I want my wife to know she's loved, be protected and provided for and be served and honored by me. As a father, I desire that my children will know and live a life where they follow Jesus Christ's lead. As a pastor, I want to see Discovery create environments where people can genuinely connect with Christ and serve others.

Knowing where you're going, what you're trying to accomplish and why - that by itself creates clarity, energy, motion and momentum. That way, when people, details or circumstances inevitably interfere and distract - I'm ready to focus on the important priorities with clarity and not get bogged down in the questions, critiques and criticisms. Of course, that doesn't mean you ignore them, but you'll never be able to satisfy everyone and there will always be opposition. Get used to it. Be proactive, not reactive. Know what you're trying to accomplish and why.

So I'm wondering - why do you do what you do (at work, at home, in life)? What are you trying to accomplish?

Focus

Been thinking a lot lately about what the heck is going on. I've been tense, frustrated, disappointed sometimes and very easily distracted when it comes to almost all things Discovery. I'm convinced things shouldn't be this way and have struggled to make sense of it. Then this morning at my accountability breakfast, it came up and started to make a little more sense. I hate to admit it, but I think I've lost focus.

When I first moved here about 4 years ago, I moved with the desire and newly formed plan to reach out, connect and focus on the thousands of people in and around Greenville who were not connected to Jesus Christ. I think we did pretty well at that for the first couple years, but as we've grown we've gotten "used" to some things and I've owned too many things. I haven't reproduced myself, haven't really forced others to reproduce themselves and we're feeling the consequences. There's a lack of new leaders and lots of people on the sidelines - not because they don't want to serve and work, but because they 1) don't know where and 2) don't know why everything they might do matters.

Why do we spend hours setting up for a 80 min. service? Why do we do Second Saturday Service? Why do we encourage people to get involved in small groups? Why do we print T-shirts to go with each series? Why do we have "greeters" and serve breakfast? Why do we do our children's ministry the way we do? Why do our small groups talk about the same things we talk about on Sunday? All good questions, and even though I have an answer for each one, I haven't done a good job at helping people see the big picture and understand how they can contribute to not just Discovery, but the Kingdom.

We have Good News to share, plenty of people who could use some good news, a limited opportunity to do it and a mandate to be active. Jesus didn't die so we can have church. He died so people could be in right relationship with God Himself. Let's focus on how we can play a part in helping people trust in the death, burial and resurrection of Jesus Christ and live in right relationship with God and others.

Tithing and Giving

We started new series at Discovery yesterday and we'll be talking about stewardship and specifically finances over the next few weeks. It's funny how many people and pastors seem to shy away from talking about money. Stewardship is part of discipleship and so we can't ignore it. I made what I thought was a pretty strong statement - I said something like "I don't need your money, Discovery doesn't "need" your money - it's not your money anyhow, it's all God's money. I'd rather you attend another church and faithfully tithe and give your money there than to stay here and not tithe" If you want, you can watch the whole thing HERE or download or listen to the podcast at www.discoverync.com

We'll be looking at what a tithe is and whether or not it's for today in more detail during the series, but let me start by repeating what Randy Alcorn (author of Money, Possessions and Eternity) said, which is basically, that being under grace does not mean living by lower standards than the law (even though we are no longer under the law). Tithing is a biblical starting point, it's entry level obedience, the minimum - it coexisted with voluntary giving in the OT and there is no reason to cancel/ignore or other wise dismiss it’s practice today.

Arguing against tithing would be like arguing against seatbelts - if the law that requires the use of seatbelts were repealed (or didn't exist like prior to the 1970's or currently in New Hamshire), it wouldn't mean that the use of seatbelts was now suddenly unwise or even unnecessary. In fact quite the opposite. Regardless of the existence of some particular law, seatbelts would still be wise and beneficial. The same holds true for the tithe, and most people who argue against the tithe as a biblical starting point for giving - are the same people who don't even give close to a tithe. But then it's not an argument, it's an excuse for selfishness, greed or control (and a poor one at that).

So let's get over the idea that the tithe is legalistic. Anything can become legalistic but that doesn't mean it's a bad idea. For some people, Bible reading, prayer, studying, church and fellowship times are all legalistic to them. Nobody is suggesting we stop practicing those disciplines.

As we "Consider the Cost" let's at least be in agreement that stewardship is part of discipleship and if you desire to be a disciple - we'll need to handle the money God puts us in charge of, with great care and wisdom.

The Other Woman

The first woman I ever loved was of course my mother. In fact I still love her even today - she's my mom, and she did an amazing job with me and my brother. But there's another woman in my life. It's my wife. Today is our 16th anniversary and I want the world to know why I am in love with this other woman.

• She gave up a fast-tracked military career as an officer to stay home and raise our children
• She didn't really know how to cook when I married her but has learned and excelled at not just "making food" but serving meals
• While she hasn't always agreed with me, she has never wavered in her love and support of me as a husband, father and pastor
• She practices hospitality
• She has had five children and considers it important to be healthy and in shape - so even after 5 kids, she is still as attractive as the day I married her (can I get an AMEN?!)
• Her patience is rarely exhausted as demonstrated by my "piles" that she "allows" me to keep around the house - even though it takes everything in her not to clean it up or throw it in the trash
• She is considerate of others - a people-pleaser of sorts, but she's learned to say no to protect her time and family
• She loves Jesus and it shows in her conversations and actions
• She our children, despite her feelings of inadequacy, and all of our children excel beyond their grade levels
• She is organized and has shared some of her planning skills with me - thus making me a better person
• She can look at me, smile, then laugh and I melt
• She is low-maintenance. She doesn't like to shop, doesn't take hours (really just a few minutes) to get ready in the morning
• She isn't "frumpy" - she still dresses nicely even if she's only going to be home
• She's disciplined. She has a "secret stash" of chocolate, but limits herself to just a little at a time.
• She is an example to other women, mothers, and other wives in so many areas
• She's a mighty nice kisser
• She's modest in how she dresses without being prudish, out of style or otherwise boring
• She honors me by her words both to me and to others
• She's frugal and wise with our money (did I mention she doesn't like to shop?!)
• She enjoys the simple things (and that includes me)
• While she appreciates good food and good atmosphere, she'd rather spend the money on others (like our kids) or save it
• She is an amazing mother who takes time to know each of her children as individuals and blesses them in ways that let them know she cares
• She's thoughtful - always ready with a kind word, a thoughtful gift, or hug
• She's honest...people (including me) may not always like what she says, but she says it so gently and sincerely you can't help but listen and consider what she's said
• She's a great nurse who loves her job and the people and babies she cares for
• She still needs me for some things - like directions, house and car maintenance and math
• She honors my parents. Even though she's the other woman in my life, she honors my mom - sometimes, she talks to to her more than I do.
• She is faithful. Faithful first to Jesus and because of that, she's been faithful and committed to me.

So Lora, I want to wish you a Happy Anniversary and say thanks for making each of the past 16 years something I look back at with fondness and joy. I am confident that the years that are yet to come will be filled with both happiness and heartache, joy and sorrow, smiles and tears - and I can say without hesitation that I am looking forward to experiencing every one of those moments with you. Today, I honor you, I praise you, I delight in you, and I love you. See you soon My Lovely Bride.

Fickle Faith

I was reading earlier today and came across a verse that really stuck out to me in John 2

²³ Now while he was in Jerusalem at the Passover Feast, many people saw the miraculous signs he was doing and believed in his name. ²⁴ But Jesus would not entrust himself to them, for he knew all men. ²⁵ He did not need man's testimony about man, for he knew what was in a man.

Jesus just turned water into wine, people are seeing the miraculous signs he's doing and believing in him. That's what he wanted right - people to believe in Jesus? Apparently not. At least not that kind of belief.

It appears that people were believing in what Jesus was doing, not who He was. They were impressed with the miracles, but not with the fact that God himself was standing before them. We have a tendency to be impressed with people's actions so much so that we overlook their character. We have sports "heroes" who are great athletes but, who they are, their character is nothing to be admired (Michael Vick, Mike Tyson, Allen Iverson, OJ Simpson, Pete Rose, Darrell Strawberry, Rae Carruth, and on and on) It's the same in business, education, or any area - people who seem to excel in their abilities but have huge character flaws in who they are.

Jesus wasn't interested in putting on a show, in winning the accolades and approval of an adoring crowd. Why? Scripture says because he "did not need man's testimony, for he knew what was in a man." He knows how we are, how we think, how fickle our faith is.

Consider this for a minute: when it seems to you like God isn't listening, isn't answering and isn't doing anything in your life - how's your faith? Strong? Weak? Questioning? Fading? How about when it seems like God is actually working against you, how's your faith then? We have this problem of substituting our faith in Christ for our faith in his ability. We forget who He is. He is God. He is not our "do-boy" and what He does and doesn't choose to do for us does NOT change who He is. He is God. He is praiseworthy. He is holy. He is righteous. And I we are not.

Talk about a fickle faith. How's yours today?

Faithful

My life is by no stretch of the imagination something to be considered difficult when compared to the suffering and trials of so many others. And still, there are times when you just feel like everything is falling apart and you question whether or not you're really doing what you're supposed to be doing or are at the right place or just wonder - "why me?" The last few days have been that kind of time for me.

• We found out a good friend of ours is planning on getting a divorce because "we never should have gotten married in the first place" Huh? It's a little too late for that now. Especially when you're a believer and know what God's design for marriage is. Like John says in Marley and Me - "mend it don't end it!"
• Other marriage issues include unmarried women shacking up with married guys while claiming to be a believer but being completely unrepentant, teenage couples with no means of support, no plan and disapproving families planning on getting married, and then there's always the unmarrieds who are having sex and living together. We think that's so common now some people say it's normal or ok. Wrong again.
• Our air conditioner breaks
• Close friends who have lost their job just told us they may now have to move away from here and a great support system because they don't have the finances to be able to stay while they figure things out
• We've got "sexting" issues we're having to deal with (and some parents are more upset that we're dealing with it than that it's going on in the first place)
• Our Family Pastor (Claude's) brother had a heart attack yesterday and is on life support. Claude and his wife flew down early this morning.
• My laptop died so I have to start over (and am not mobile) in preparing for this weeks message, for worship and other things. (EDIT: I fixed it - or at least I got it working)
• We found out that our kids are going to be dropped from insurance starting Sept 1st - only going to cost an extra $900 a month unless we can figure something else out.
• And then there's so-called "customer service" - Lora has a ring - it's been repaired once and supposedly rebuilt the second time (within a year) and after 4 months, they seem to think it's natural wear and tear that stones are loose again. I'm not done with them yet but don't recommend them. Had phone and internet issues too and problems still aren't resolved.

Well that's enough to give you a pretty good idea of what's going on. And yet, with all this turmoil, I'm reminded that my marriage is strong, my kids are healthy, our family is safe, I'm employed, Christ is still on the throne AND He hasn't ever left me. he knows my name, my troubles and my heart. And He deserves praise and honor -whether things are going well or not. Why? Because He's faithful.

So how's your week been?

All You Can Do

I had an experience recently where I finally realized something and so I figured I'd share. After all, it's taken me 37 years to figure it out, so here goes.

All of us have friends or family that we have spent considerable time with and invested a lot of hours in - trying to help them through problems, supporting them, teaching them and praying for them. I started doing that before I ever had kids of my own when I was a youth pastor. Now that I've got five of my own, I continue to pour into the people I love. It's tiring, but can also be rewarding when you see someone implementing some of the Godly wisdom you've tried to impart in them - telling the truth, making tough choices, etc.

Well, it has always bothered me on a personal level when I've seen former students of mine, who I spent considerable time with and who allowed me privileged access into their worlds, who have taken a different path then the one I tried to show them and encourage them along. I've felt like a failure (even now that I'm a pastor I often feel the same way). I feel like I didn't do a good job. Girls got pregnant, guys have abandoned the faith, some to the point of calling themselves atheists, kids have run away from home or moved out, others have quit school or moved in (often with their newest boyfriend/girlfriend), even now, people insist on divorce as the best option or fornication as an acceptable alternative.

So whenever I would catch up with a former student, I'd prepare myself to feel the tinge of failure yet again. It certainly didn't always happen - some students are in ministry, some preparing for it, and others are married and making an amazing life with their spouse and kids as they follow after Christ.

Recently I felt that failure again. I saw a former student - one who was now a single parent - and was looking through some pictures she had. Some of the pictures were from when she was in my youth group, on trips with myself and others. As I looked, I came across a picture that would normally send my home with my tail between my legs, wondering who was I to think I could make a difference in someone's life. Of the 6 or 7 girls pictured, there was only 1 who I knew to be living out her Christian faith. Two were single, unwed mothers, two were married, (one to a divorced unbeliever, the other also to an unbeliever) and the rest had strained relationships with their parents or others (one is currently living, and most likely sleeping, with her fiance). Normally I'd be crushed.

But this time was different. I've spoken with these girls since they graduated and moved on - most everyone admits they know better - they just haven't chosen to do better. And so I realized that I gave them every advantage, every tool and every reason I could, to choose the path of obedience and blessing, but THEY chose otherwise. I did what I could (and most of the their parents did as well) but still, despite the right teaching, the clear biblical guidelines, still THEY chose unwisely. And now many of them are paying the price with strained relationships and difficult circumstances that I'll simply call consequences for sin.

Me, I don't feel guilty this time. I don't feel like a failure. In fact, I rejoice with the one in the picture who chose wisely and is living in the blessing of God's unending grace. I see her joy, I know her family, I've held her children. Her life hasn't been easy, but it's been blessed. And it's because she chose to follow God's path, no matter how hard it's gotten. And God's been faithful to her as she's been faithful to Him. So Laci, thanks for being an encouragement to me and helping me to realize that all we can do is show people what's right and then pray for them to live righteously. You are a testimony - keep living right. We both know you're not perfect, but at least you're trying. Thanks.

For the rest of you - don't look at the choices that other people make as your failures. You can't own their decisions anymore than you can make them for them. When you've presented truth, when you've shared the way, do it with love, with conviction, with concern, but remember, at the end of the day, that's all you can do (besides praying for them of course). We can't make our children choose right - but I'm committed to letting them know and be clear on what IS right - and that's all I can do.

Help "If" You Can

So this morning I dropped my wife off so she could head to a pastor's wives retreat for a few days. I think everybody needs a break and a time to recharge. This is one of hers. Me, on the other hand, am going to be flying solo with all five kids. I've got plenty that needs to get done, but I'm not stressing. Why? Because I've got a few people who have said they'll help.

Right now, Randy and Laci Strickland are hanging with my kids and swimming in the pool. Later, another friend is coming by because I've got a presentation/meeting tonight. Tomorrow, another friend has offered to take all 5 of mine for a few hours and feed em lunch and then that night, yet another will be coming over to hang out because I have a counseling appointment. Next day, yep, more friends coming over to help and hang out.

Here's the point. I'm feeling totally blessed and cared for right now because some people asked if there was anything they could do to help and when I said "yes" they said "ok". It really should be that simple. It doesn't have to be anything extravagant. Just pay attention to what's going on around you. Maybe you can fix cars, cook a meal, trim trees, mow grass, pick up groceries, take pictures, paint, do small home repairs, clean, heck, even pay a bill for someone. It's not really a question of IF as much as it's a question of WHEN. We can all help, it's just that too many of us usually don't because we either think the "little" thing we'd do wouldn't help much anyhow, or we just don't feel like it.

I'm telling you - any little bit helps - and you can help....try it at least once today.

The F-word (part 3)

Some people may be wondering what to do when people seem to follow the steps or meet the conditions of forgiveness but it doesn't seem genuine. It seems like they're pretending just to make things right. Even then it's only temporary because it's only a matter of time before they do the very same thing again and the whole cycle continues: they sin, then say, "I repent," you say, "I forgive you," they sin again, feel bad and so they say, "I repent," you say, "I forgive you," and on and on it goes, ad infinitum. This can't be right can it?

This kind of forgiveness reeks of "pretending" and seems disingenuous at best. I'm sure you know this, but Jesus knew that would happen and told us how to handle it.

Luke 17:1-10

1 Jesus said to his disciples: "Things that cause people to sin are bound to come, but woe to that person through whom they come. 2 It would be better for him to be thrown into the sea with a millstone tied around his neck than for him to cause one of these little ones to sin. 3 So watch yourselves.

"If your brother sins, rebuke him, and if he repents, forgive him. 4 If he sins against you seven times in a day, and seven times comes back to you and says, 'I repent,' forgive him."

5 The apostles said to the Lord, "Increase our faith!"

6 He replied, "If you have faith as small as a mustard seed, you can say to this mulberry tree, 'Be uprooted and planted in the sea,' and it will obey you. 7 "Suppose one of you had a servant plowing or looking after the sheep. Would he say to the servant when he comes in from the field, 'Come along now and sit down to eat'? 8 Would he not rather say, 'Prepare my supper, get yourself ready and wait on me while I eat and drink; after that you may eat and drink'? 9 Would he thank the servant because he did what he was told to do? 10 So you also, when you have done everything you were told to do, should say, 'We are unworthy servants; we have only done our duty.' "

Let me briefly explain this. Jesus said "if they repent" (talking about them simply confessing and saying they repent) then forgive them. And if they come back seven times a day BECAUSE THEIR ACTIONS DON'T MATCH THEIR WORDS, you're still to forgive them. In other words, it's not our role to judge whether or not someone is repentant....as Jesus goes on to explain, it's our DUTY (v10) to forgive them when they repent by simply saying so.

I'll admit that's a tough teaching. Certainly, the disciples thought so too or they wouldn't have responded with, "Increase our faith!" But even that's not an excuse. Jesus said you don't need a huge "Super Saint Sized" faith, but a faith as small as a mustard seed. In other words, it's not dependent on more faith, it's dependent upon our obedience - will we do what we're supposed to (forgive) or will we find some way to justify our unforgiveness? Will you use some excuse like...'you keep saying you're sorry but you keep doing it over and over again', or something like "I just can't do that" (i.e. I don't have enough faith)? Try it, but I don't think it will work....that option isn't open for us.

When other people do their part to confess their sins and ask forgiveness, we have no choice. We are duty bound to offer and grant them forgiveness. If not, we are now the ones who are disobedient and in need of forgiveness from God our Master.

The F-word (part 2)

The idea that forgiveness is conditional flies in the face of most of today's modern psychology, self-help, popular culture ideas. We are told all the time to "forgive and forget," to "make peace with your past" and to forgive ourselves. All great ideas but not very biblically sound. The fact that we hear these all the time is just one more testimony to how far we are from understanding what forgiveness really is (and isn't).

The conditional nature of forgiveness brought up one particular question from a number of people and that is, what do you do with people who are no longer around (dead or otherwise non-contactable)? How do you forgive them? The short answer is you don't because you can't. They cannot repent and ask forgiveness so you cannot and do not need to feel a need to forgive them.

The immediate objection is something along the lines of "Aren't we commanded to forgive others because Jesus said, 'if you do not forgive men their sins, your Father will not forgive your sins'" [Matt 6:15] What Jesus said was true, but let me ask you a question. Does Jesus forgive you, me or anybody if they don't want to be forgiven, if they don't want their sins covered, removed and their guilt lifted? Think this through, because if you think the answer is yes, then all people are saved apart from any faith, profession, or trust in Jesus Christ and His death - whether they want to be or not.

We can't just look at that verse, but also others that tell us how to treat someone who sins against us. In Matthew 18:15-17, there is a very clear process for addressing sin and forgiveness is dependent upon repentance. Luke 17:3-4, same thing. So, still the question remains what to do about people who have sinned against us that we can no longer contact?

Mark 11:25-26 comes to mind "And when you stand praying, if you hold anything against anyone, forgive him, so that your Father in heaven may forgive you your sins. But if you do not forgive, neither will your Father who is in heaven forgive your sins." Seems pretty clear cut right? We need to forgive people whether they want it or not. Not so fast.

Jesus is talking about prayer here, and while it seems cut and dry, we can't simply dismiss what else Jesus said about dealing with someone who's sinned against us. For instance, say you've followed the steps of Matthew 18/Luke 17. You've rebuked someone for the sin they've committed against you, brought a few witnesses and even told the church and they're still unrepentant. Jesus said to treat them like an unbeliever or a pagan. Yet here in Mark people think he's saying forgive them whether they ask for it or not - whether they want it or not.

I believe Jesus is talking about having a willingness to forgive. Some might call it a forgiving spirit. In this case, forgiveness will come if and when they ask, and because you're willing, your relationship with God is OK - he'll forgive your sins because there's nothing between you and God.

A similar passage would be Matthew 5:23-24 "Therefore, if you are offering your gift at the altar and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there in front of the altar. First go and be reconciled to your brother; then come and offer your gift." Similar situation except this time YOU are the bad guy who hurt someone instead of the one who was hurt. God's desire is that you be reconciled, that your relationships be right, so He says go do that first and then your relationship with God will be clear of obstacles and interference.

So, if there's someone who's hurt you that you can't connect with, while you can't forgive them, you can have a spirit of forgiveness that keeps you in right relationship with God himself. That's all you can do and that's all you must do. Anything else is playing God and I think that position is filled already.

The F-word (part 1)

Now when I say F-word, I don't intend to insult or offend, but to draw a parallelism. The F-word is a real word with a real meaning, yet most people who use it don't understand what it actually means or don't care. To them, it's just part of the common vocabulary of the people they hang around most. Anyhow - in this case, the F-word I'm referring to is "Forgiveness"

Sunday, we started a new series on Forgiveness and we set up basecamp in Psalm 32. (listen here) In studying for this, I've come to some conclusions that I hadn't considered before as I read and re-read passages that I'd read hundreds of times before. Now we spent some time looking at what forgiveness isn't - it isn't easy or just apologizing, it's not excusing or accepting sin, it's not forgetting (despite the saying 'forgive and forget'), not a feeling and it's not primarily for our benefit (when we forgive). Forgiveness is simply a promise not to use someone's past against them, and you can make that promise whether or not you feel like it the same way you can keep it whether or not you feel like it.

That promise is available, but not guaranteed. This was by far the most troubling thought for many - that forgiveness is conditional. Look at Ephesians 4:32 where Paul writes "Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving one another, as God in Christ forgave you" Our forgiveness of others (believers here) is to be modeled after God's forgiveness of us through Christ. Since that's the case, we know that all who call on the Lord will be saved, they'll be forgiven, but there are some who call, who won't repent, who won't believe and they won't be forgiven. Not because forgiveness wasn't offered, but because the conditions weren't met.

Another example: Luke 17:3-4 "Pay attention to yourselves! IF your brother sins, rebuke him, and IF he repents, forgive him, and IF he sins against you seven times in the day, and turns to you seven times, saying, 'I repent,' you must forgive him." Well what if he doesn't? Then there's no forgiveness for him. No need for you to feel guilty or to 'forgive him anyway,' because you can't. You can be willing, but you can't actually forgive someone who refuses to admit they're wrong (confess), intend to never do it again (repent) and desires your forgiveness.

When Jesus prayed in Luke 23:24 "...Father, forgive them, for they do not know what they are doing..." He wasn't forgiving them. If all He had to do was say "I forgive you" why was He hanging on the cross about to die? He was making things right with God saying in effect, "I'm willing to forgive those who will admit they were wrong - Father, please bring them to that point."

Romans 2:4 says it's that "God's kindness is meant to lead you to repentance" and the prayer Jesus said was answered after His death when Peter was speaking to the people at Pentecost. He said, "God has made this Jesus, whom you crucified,(notice the rebuke) both Lord and Christ." and the people responded "what shall we do?" and Peter said, "REPENT and be baptized, every one of you, in the name of Jesus Christ for the forgiveness of your sins." [see Acts 2:36-38] Forgiveness came AFTER repentance. It was conditional then, and it's conditional now.

Welcome Home

We had a great vacation these last couple weeks and just got back. Figured I'd share what the loved ones we left behind did to welcome us home. They redecorated our house in Post-it Notes. Lots and lots of Post-it Notes all over.

And just FYI - I'm trying to figure out how to stop the autoplay on the videos from OnePrayer - it can get a little annoying now that there's 4 on this page.

Lucky for them, they're right - He does

I thought this was pretty creative (slightly scary, but creative nonetheless)

The Discovery Church logo recreated on my bedroom wall

The beauty of my newly redone living room

Now trying to get back into the swing of things it's what's killing me. I'm loving the iPhone, but still getting used to it and don't have my email set up on it because it's supposed to be changing but I can't get it to set up on my Mac first so don't want to mess up the iPhone. Once it's all going I'll be more productive than ever.

One Prayer - Week 4

Today we heard from a wonderful man of God - Francis Chan. Pastor of Cornerstone Church in Semi Valley, CA. How often have we forgotten the truth about God - that He is strong enough. Like Steven Furtick said in week one, God is Great. It's been a blessing to partner with nearly 2,000 churches and 1 million people in OnePrayer this year. If you missed the message, here it is.

Just press the PLAY button

One Prayer - Week 3

Today's OnePrayer message was again by Craig Groeschel from Lifechurch.tv in Edmond, OK. He reminded us of the simple and yet powerful truth that God is Love. Love is not something God does, it's something He is. I'm on vacation with my family now and am praying that people invited their friends and family to Discovery Church to hear this message and respond to the love of God. In case you missed it, here it is.

Just press the PLAY button

One Prayer - Week 2

Happy Father's Day to all you fathers from me and the greatest Father ever know. Today's message was by Craig Groeschel of Lifechurch.tv in Edmond, OK. He spoke and reminded us that God is a great Father who loves us and wants us to be with him. In case you missed it, here's the message.

Just press the PLAY button

If you watched this, you know how powerful and timely the message was. You should have been encouraged even. But let me remind you that there are people who have not heard this message of hope and are longing for someone who cares. God cares, but people don't know it because so many don't really understand who God is. I'm begging you right now....get your family and friends who need God to Discovery Church next week. They will hear all about how God is Love so start praying now that they respond and their lives are never, ever the same.

Exclusively Mac (finally)

Finally did it. I've been telling Lora for nearly a year now that the time is coming when we will be done with our PC and we will throw it out with Windows. The time finally came. And because we homeschool and Apple is having a back-to-school promotion, we got the Mac at a discount AND an iPod touch for free (or at least it will be free once they send our rebate check) Lora has claimed that and is loving it because of all the educational apps she can load on it to harass our kids who are supposed to be "done" with school for the summer!


But wait, there's more. I'm so excited about this...

I have blogged about wanting an iPhone since they first came out (here) but was tied into a contract with Alltel (who by the way has had the best coverage I've seen of anyone out there). I hinted and begged for one when my smart phones were being dumb (here) and I all but tried to bribe people to get me one for Christmas (here, here and here) but none of that has worked.

I'm happy to say, that come tomorrow, I will be on a golf trip, but will also become the proud new owner of a long awaited (and planned for) iPhone 3Gs.

Let me just say this too....everything listed here adds up to a lot of cash. In fact, that's many people's biggest hurdle for getting a Mac (they're just so expensive). Not that it's any of your business, but since we've been planning for this, we've been saving for this. Nothing is financed, it's all paid for with money we have. See, if you want something bad enough, you might need to wait, but you can save and then pay cash. Gotta love Dave Ramsey and Financial Peace University in action!

Not When - What (and where)

I heard Dallas Willard talking about becoming more like Christ and it's been ringing in my ears. He was talking about discipleship and and how we need to focus more on helping people connect their walk with Christ to their everyday living instead of just another thing to add to their to-do list, things like reading your Bible, having a quiet time, prayer time, Bible study, church or any other number of "to-dos."

I'm not, for even a minute, going to suggest that those things aren't beneficial and important. But they're not the most important thing. In fact, they have become an idol for many people, especially those that consistently can mark them off of their to-do list. The most important thing is to love the Lord your God with all your heart, mind, soul and strength. That means the most important thing isn't limited to a time or place, but instead should be happening at work, when you're playing softball, watching TV, on the golf course, surfing the web, out to eat, driving, walking, sleeping, you name it.

Discipleship isn't about setting aside a time to read, study and learn. It's not about when you do that (or don't). Discipleship is about becoming like the one you follow - not at some pre-appointed time, but all the time. It's about what your motivation is. Do we really want to love God with all our heart? If so, it can't simply be limited to an hour set aside for "quiet time devotions." Do we really want to love God with all our mind? If so it can't be just focused on what we know about the Bible, but what we are learning about God's world.

And we can't limit discipleship to a place. School may be limited to a classroom, but education isn't. Discipleship is education and it happens everywhere, all day long, whenever we seek to become like the one we claim to follow. Don't you think it's time we take discipleship with us?

One Prayer - Week 1

Today we kicked off OnePrayer and we kicked it off in a great way. Steven Furtick from Elevation Church in Charlotte, NC spoke this message about how God is Great and God is Good. He did an amazing job and it was a great reminder that many of us needed to hear. In case you missed it or want to watch it again, here it is.

Just press the PLAY button

I really want to encourage everyone at Discovery Church to do anything you can to get your friends who don't know God to church over the next few weeks. People who don't God and don't know who God is will hear some very clear messages and be given a chance to respond. Start praying now!

Funniest Place For This To Happen?

Came across this on another blog and it got me thinking about marketing and also surprises. I think crazy stuff like this would definitely get people talking about whatever store they were in - maybe this was scheduled. But maybe it wasn't. Maybe it's just a plain 'ol flash mob (check some other ones out on You Tube like this) Either way, I think this would be hilarious if it happened at a graduation ceremony - even better, a law school graduation.

Where do you think the funniest place for this to happen would be?

TGIF

TGIF normally stands for Thank God It's Friday - which of course is true today. But at the Ebeling house, it's Thank God It's Finished, referring to school for the year. Yesterday the boys all finished taking their last exams in science, history and geography. They all passed! In fact they all did very well. That makes today a day to celebrate. They're sleeping in, playing Wii, we'll grill steaks tonight and they'll do their end-of-the-year presentation and play a little "let's-see-if-we-can-stump-Dad" (which shouldn't be too hard) and then it's just over a week until family vacation!

Lora's back at the hospital with our good friends Randy and Laci Strickland who are about to have their 2nd little baby so all the celebrating starts once she gets home.

Having a Baby

No, not us. In case you need a reminder, that won't happen again (if you need a laugh, click the earlier link)

Anyhow, Randy and Laci Strickland are currently at the hospital checking in and about to have baby number two. Many of you want to know what's going on so that's why I'm sharing it here on my blog. You can follow all the progress and leave comments and encouragement over here at their blog. Pray for them and a safe delivery.

Little Foxes

This morning I was reading in Song of Solomon and came across this verse that got me thinking:

¹⁵ Catch for us the foxes, the little foxes that ruin the vineyards, our vineyards that are in bloom.

Think about this. In a marriage, or any relationship for that matter, there should be some positive result. Husbands should love their wives and wives should respect their husbands. Friends should share joy, pain, secrets, hopes and dreams with each other and at the very least, make each other feel cared for. When relationships are cared for, the people in them bloom, just like a vineyard blooms when it's cared for.

What we all see practically everywhere we look, are dead or dying relationships (vineyards). How do they get that way? People ignored the "little foxes". You see, big foxes eat the grapes because they can reach them. That makes for an obvious problem. Big foxes in relationships are obvious - abuse, affairs, financial problems, constant arguing and fighting. But little foxes are easy to ignore. We think they're harmless, even cute, and assume they can't do any damage. The reality is they do more because they chew at the roots.

So many of us have little foxes in our relationships that we live with because we don't realize how dangerous they are. We have a disagreement and rather than trying to be understood, we give up trying to explain how we feel because we think it's easier than arguing. Little fox. We know we don't have the money, but it's on sale, we really want it and think "it's my money anyway." Little fox. We notice the response from somebody other than our spouse when we make a joke, wear certain clothes or flirt. Little fox. We think we can justify our actions by our feelings - I was just angry. I was just trying to be nice. I was just lonely. I just felt like you didn't care. Little foxes.

It's time we not only catch, but kill the little foxes before they grow up into big foxes. It's time to take action to protect your marriage, protect your relationships. You might feel pretty stupid and look even dumber chasing it around, but if you don't, it won't bite you - it'll ruin your relationship. Not so cute now are they?

Second Saturday Service

This Saturday is Second Saturday Service. We don't normally tell people what it is we're doing to serve, but we did let the cat out of the bag early for this one. It's another fun one to do, family friendly, helpful, and generates some pretty fun responses from people. It's our $1 car wash.

Now what makes it fun is that we have signs telling people that we're doing a $1 car wash, and then once we've washed and dried they're vehicle, while they think we're coming for the dollar, we GIVE them a dollar. People always look at us funny, in some state of disbelief or "what's the catch" and often try to give it back. We've had people get out and sing or perform for us, pray for us, thank us, and remember this particular project months later.

So come on out and bring your buckets, sponges, towels, soap, hoses, squeegees, sprayers or whatever else you feel like using - including $1 bills! Meet us at the Boys and Girls Club parking lot at 9:30AM and plan on eating lunch with us at noon. We'll see you Saturday.

One Prayer

Last year, we partnered with hundreds of other churches to be a part of OnePrayer and we spent 4 weeks answering the question "If you knew God would answer one prayer, what would you pray?" and all the messages started with "God make us...." We heard from Craig Groeschel of Lifechurch.tv, Perry Noble of NewSpring, and Wayne Cordiero of New Hope Fellowship and not only did they do a great job, but they really spoke to what many of us needed to hear.

Well, we're doing it again this year and I'm excited about who we have that's going to be teaching us. We'll have Craig Groeschel again, and then two new guys. One is from Charlotte where he pastors a church that in 4 years has grown from a few families to about 4,000 each weekend - Steven Furtick from Elevation Church. The other guy many of us heard speak for the first time at Catalyst a few years ago. He bared his heart and convicted many of the pastors and leaders in attendance. He pastors Cornerstone Church in California and his name is Francis Chan. He wrote a great book called "Crazy Love"

I am telling you now, you will want to be here, and you will want to invite your friends. These speakers are top notch and the message is all starting in the same spot - "God is...." Do you need a reminder of who God is? Of course you do, we all do. God is great, He is love, He is strength, He is here. Join us as we join with nearly 2,000 other churches and 1 million people around the world to answer Jesus's one prayer that He prayed in John 17:20-24 - 'that we may be one.'

Be there this week, next week, every week AND bring a friend who needs to know who God is

Yeah, Yeah, I Know

Yeah, Yeah, I know - it's been nearly a month since I last posted anything here on my blog. I'm not going to make any excuses either. Just honestly admit that I really didn't feel like blogging and even if I did, so many thoughts floating through my head that picking one or two and keeping it short would have been nearly impossible (at least for me).

So let me bring you up to speed with what's happened in this past month.

• We've started and now finished the FAQ series. I think it was a success with lots of questions asked and even a very nice spread in the Daily Reflector (the local paper). You can watch HERE or listen HERE.
• We've made the decision to change our church database and use Church Community Builder and we're currently switching over all our data, learning the new system and putting things in place to help us roll this out in September. Trust me, you're gonna love it if you are a part of Discovery. I do have to say, that we have nothing bad to say about Mark Kitts and People Driven Software (who we were using) we just needed to switch.
• Mother's Day - yeah, remember back then? - was an interesting and powerful service where people had the opportunity to create a video message to their mom or their kids, write letters, pray and be prayed for, take communion and have family portraits taken. Really enjoyed that.
• I am sooooo looking forward to vacation with my family and the men's golf trip the couple days before. Pastors really need more and longer breaks (at least this pastor does)
• Big news from Sunday's Lord's Supper is that our worship leader, Marcus, is sensing that his time here is finished and so he's stepping down and waiting for clear direction effective June 21. In the past, we've always had an obvious "next step," but this time things aren't so obvious so we really don't know what to expect and what will happen next. Please pray.
• I'm pretty excited about the new iPhone that was announced yesterday and will be getting one, but might have to wait until July since I'll be gone golfing and immediately leaving on vacation once they're available. Oh well - I've waited this long.
• I got the pool up and running and the kids and their friends are enjoying it. Funny thing is, while the liner ended up holding, the pump blew. Good thing I have a friend who gave me his! And another friend who gave me his pool cleaner! Looks great.
• A new pastime has taken control among the Ebeling boys - - - PAINTBALL! We all have guns, camo, acres of woods, places to hide, other friends willing to get shot and of course air tanks and paintballs for plenty of refills. It's a blast - and I have the marks to prove it. First time Chandler got shot he sounded like he was dying. Since then, he usually just surrenders before he gets shot - don't think he's been hit again.

There, you're caught up. More coming and it'll be more regularly - really.